All the little things
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Unglam picture #1
Unglam picture #2
I was just helping Jo to figure out how to take off the lens from the camera body before she went to Melbourne. And that's my after-college-and-I-cannot-be-bothered-with-my-appearance look, heh.
So it's 4:38am right now and everyone went to sleep and I am alone here. I just finished doing notes for another chapter of els and also did a bit of Vocab work for Streetcar. Oh, did I tell you that I aced the Vocab test last Friday? It felt soooo good! Haha.
Anyway, this is not going to be another emotional and depressing post because even I can't stand seeing myself being so upset and all. I will try not to put all my negative emotions on my blog next time! But this is my blog right..........oh well.
My little gift to Fish as her birthday present even though we bought another stuff for her as well.
OMG FELT IS SO FETCH!
Haha, Mean Girls alert!
I wrote "Have fun drinking and get wasted!". Guess she is going to like that, a lot.
Jocelyn went to KL weeks ago and bought me these two really good nail-polishes.
She picked some amazing colours that I've always wanted!
Hello Stage! Good bye Elianto!
She also bought me this.....
I was like, you've gotta be kidding me, this colour?!
It was really dirt cheap though but I will probably, never use it haha.
This is the one I bought from Cotton On in Hong Kong. It was slightly cheaper than in Malaysia!
But uh, bad quality, don't buy.
Unglam picture #3
Unglam picture #4
Anyway, I had this serious talk with Dad just now and things went pretty well in the end. So I guess I just have to study really hard and also do a lot of researches and also talk to someone from BAC.
Don't really mind being a total nerd until A-levels end, seriously. Or at least until AS ends. Don't mind staying at home during the weekends. Don't mind missing out outings with friends. Don't mind going for Eng lit extra class on Saturday. Because, anything for the UK! Hee.
Hello, good morning!
Time to retire and go get my regular 2 hours of actual sleep.
PS: Kinda like my new hairstyle actually, despite the shortness. Meh.
/
Keep calm and carry on
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Found this in my "Photography" folder and thought, "Hey, this picture is the best answer to all my confusions and questions right now."
I swear my parents have been acting a tad bit weird lately.
My dad keeps asking me if I am having exams or not and my mum just being pretty cheerful whenever she is around me. I went running today just to de-stress (all thanks to my piano class, really) and she was like, "Good, you finally know how to release your tension.". Do I look tensed all the time?!
Anyway, I bbm-ed Aina today during class to ask about IELTS stuff and chatted with her for a while. The whole conversation really got me thinking a lot. I can't share my thoughts on here because - despite how pathetic it sounds - I care what you think.
But again, people don't give two hoots of my feelings. My younger sister just read my previous post (yes, one of her daily routines on the ipad) and she did not even feel anything about it. Perhaps it's her age, or people just really, don't give a fuck.
This is why I never tell anyone my real dream.
I actually told Aina about it today and she is probably the only person who doesn't think that I am over-ambitious or shit like that. Also the only one who has given me some intelligent responses.
I could tell my dad, but he probably would just ask me to focus on current studies. The biggest possible outcome would be an argument between us. I would be throwing my temper at him again ( I know that's a terrible thing to do).
I just want a "Yes" from him, so that I have something to look forward to.
Right now, I am just going to study my ass off and try to be really optimistic (like how I used to be).
PS: I promise my next post will not be this emotional and depressing!
/
Far away from where you are
Monday, June 27, 2011
This post is so pointless but I thought I'd say Hi to my fellow anonymous and see if anyone is interested enough to know what is running in my mind at this moment.
Half year ago, everyone was so thrilled that SPM was coming to an end. We made plans. We partied. We did everything that every secondary school students would do after spm. Fun fun fun days, indeed.
I was just really glad that I didn't have to touch Biolog, Physics, Chemistry or Addmaths books anymore. Oh and no more of bitchy headmistress slogging through assemblies on boring topics.
At that point, the idea of choosing college and course wasn't even my biggest concern. I knew what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I was rather excited to go to college and meet new people from all walks of life, to make new friends to share my biggest triumphs and fatal flaws.
Heck, I did not even worry much about which college I wanted to go. We just went to two law schools and made our decision on that day.
Now it hit me like a sucker punch - I really dislike my college.
Now I am enveloped in misery almost everyday, thinking why I made such a silly decision 3 months ago, thinking why I was so stubborn for not taking my mum's words seriously, thinking how I could turn things around, thinking how I could be happy again.
I am so sick and tired of putting a fake smile on my face everyday and telling people that "I am fine.", "Or I will be fine.".
I can't tell people how I feel exactly face to face. I'd probably just break down and cry my heart out, like right now.
I don't even know why I am feeling suicidal and dangerously depressed at the moment. Everytime my heart asks me to just give up (as in, stop giving myself so much pressure and just pass my A-levels), my minds asks me to keep going on (as in, study my ass off and hopefully to achieve my dream).
I have been telling people about this problem but no one takes me seriously anyway.
I've haboured thoughts of just running away from everything but I am too hopeless for that.
Something to cheer myself up though :)
Found this in my sister's history folio.
I was such an attention seeker, haha.
I also have been skipping meals during the weekends. I think Dad couldn't stand it anymore so he texted me this just now.
Dad: Eating disorders refer to a group of conditions defined by abnormal eating habits that may involve either insufficient or excessive food intake to the detriment of an individual's physical and mental health.
Me: Errrrr, I will start eating normally once A-levels end! :D
Dad: After A-levels, the challenge will be even greater!
Me: But getting 4As matters the most at the moment :3
Dad: A & H, which one is more important?
I would actually chose A, actually but I couldn't tell him that so I just told him off by saying I was watching F1.
The fact that I would choose getting 4As over having a healthy body saddens me.
Halfway through 2011 and this shit sucks so much already. Who says college is better? I miss 2010, so so so so so so so much.
/
Falling in
Saturday, June 25, 2011
I look so awkwardly short. In fact, I am the shortest among them. I wish Esther was in the picture! Heh.
Caption: Miss. Flower and Angry Teletubby.
LOLOLOL.
Went to Sunway Pyramid (again and again, like my second home) after ELS class to meet Jo and Mum.
And, Capricciosa for lunnnnnnnnch! (Our favourite pasta slash pizza slash italian restaurant)
Jocelyn, finally in her contact lens /coughs
TIRAMISU. You jealous?
LOLOLOL @ the background.
I honestly have no idea what they were doing there.
This is heaven. Although my dad's toast bread is still the best.
Dinner @ Seoul Garden instead of Sakae Sushi because.....
I am such a fatass.
How to lose weight and slim down if I continue eating like this. I seriously don't know.
Jocelyn doesn't have to worry so much because she is as thin as a bamboo stick now.
Life is so unfair.
LOL, just pure LOL.
Couldn't get Chelsea tour tickets and my England jersey at any of the sports stores today (read: Thursday). Such a depressing shopping spree but I still managed to grab few things, heh.
Anyway, I just used Jo's new baby to order Chels tickets so yeaaaaah, confirmed going for Chelsea on the 21st July. I CAN SEE VILLAS-BOAS YAY.
I hope they courier the tickets to me as soon as possible though!
Omfg I think I've eaten too much this week. Mainly because I have been feeling quite happy and stress-free.
Hur hur. Not sure how many calories in it.
Such an "un-glam" picture of myself!
My mum got me this Brazil huge scarf (more like a blanket though). I wish I was holding an England one though. At least it would come in handy for Euro 2012!
Unglam picture again because I have no self-image. LOL.
........I dunno.
Anyway, I have got three or....maybe four tests next week so guess what I will be doing this weekend?!
Basically just being a driver, turning on the nerd mode and F1. My life can't be more interesting than this.
Okay, good bye, beautiful people!
/
Black and white
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Black black black white. Black and white. Okay, need to stop listening to this song excessively.
I hate how days pass by at a neck-breaking speed. And I have to face some death defying papers in 5 months. I swear I am not ready at all, not even a slight bit.
And I also hate how my Maths lecturer teaches so. fucking. slow. We are still learning for AS stuff and students from other colleges have moved on to AS syllabus. Can we just learn two chapters per lesson or have some extra classes? At least Ms. Villie is aware of the fact that we have to buck up.
Anyway, my blog cannot afford to entertain negative emotions! Heh.
You hungry? :)
Pearls which tasted like balloons wtf. I kept telling Esther that I was chewing balloons and they just popped popped popped in my mouth lol.
Mayflower was TOTALLY empty today! It was usually packed so I just had to take a photo lolol.
Seriously though, Cheryl and I were like, woooooow.
Anyway, Jocelyn and mum are back from Melbourne, like finally (actually, only 5 days lol)! No more being a housewife or a driver! (read: mum = housewife, Jocelyn = driver).
Speaking about driving.....
Just to show you the cat that I have been driving for days!
Can't wait until Jocelyn gets her results and a proper job and I can have this baby ehehe.
I love how Myvi is so tiny and small (like my height lol) and it is so easy to park it! But it is also so ubiquitous and common that I always take a long time to find out where I park my car.
They bought a lot of pretty stuff back for us so I was pretty stoked :) Should probably take pictures of the stuff that I got from Dad from Japan, stuff that I bought from HK/ Macau and stuff that they got for me from Aussie.
And my baby camera is finally back! Jocelyn only took like, 300 pictures in a 5 days trip wtf. Seriously cannot depend on her when it comes to photography /facepalm
I wanted to go for this Charity bazaar this Sunday but Jo jut realised that she already has plans for that day. Bloody hell, now I have to stay home for the weekend. Maybe I can be more productive and finish more piano work #optimistic
I was just testing the video camera on my phone and a guy entered the wrong class and Esther & I just started laughing hahaha.
I know it's really bad to laugh at people's mistake but we just couldn't help it /innocent face.
Might be going to Pyramid to get late late late Father's day present after class. So I have to cancel my study session with my Maths buddy, Esther, which makes me feel really guilty.
But I am so busy with college recently and Jo is occupied with......post-exam entertainment wtf. She just landed like few hours ago and she is out drinking with her friends now! And I am here, in my room, feeling like a loser /sniff
I just told Dad that I really want to go for Liverpool and Chelsea games because "this may be the only chance that I get to see them"!
Guess what he said?!
Dad: You don't actually have to go for those three games. You can always go to Anfield or Emirates or...Stamford Bridge to watch them.
Haha, Win!
Should take that as a motivation and study even harder now.
Till then :)
/
Everything
Saturday, June 18, 2011
I am in consideration of ditching A-levels and just become a housewife, or a cute bunny, perhaps a hamster.
Hello, beautiful people who are still reading my blog!
Haven't blogged since Wednesday and a lot has happened actually but my body condition ( and/or the memory space of my brain) right now doesn't allow me to sit down and slowly remember and type out every single thing.
So just let pictures do all the talking! (Gosh this sounds so cliche!)
Went to Sunway Uni to wait for Michelle. And bought her Dark Mocha from Starbucks. And studied a chapter of Econs there. And stared at the huge crowd of people in Sunway (compared to BAC.....tsk).
The Starbucks worker said that I have a nice name! Wooohooo win!
Waiting for Michelle to try on all the ruffle shirts. She reaaaally has a thing for ruffle!
PS: The leggings from Mango are so comfortable, one of the best buys ever!
PS2: Heee I look thin in this picture. Illusion ftw.
Awww, Michelle looks so cute! Hee.
.....and I looked like this. Wtf.
Another retarded picture of myself but I blame the bumpiness of the car!
Sorry Mich, but this is really hilarious! And I don't look good either so fair and square! Hee.
Had to transfer some songs (as in, over hundreds) to her laptop in the car.
SEE THE WALLPAPER HUR HUR!
Also, met Michelle's friends on Thursday and they are pretty awesome people! I wish I went to a bigger college and could meet more people......oh well, let's not make this an emo post!
Yaay finally bought something from Sticky......for Fish.
But I left it in my car (I nearly typed car as cat haha) and forgot to give her wtf.
Free samples....so yeah....couldn't stop eating...
Went to Snowflakes again. I love the taro balls but Esther said they tasted like flour. Fine, hmph.
Effect #1
Effect #2
They were trying to cover my face wtf. Do I look thaaat hideous?!
Tadpole aka Paul face again. It will soon be my signature face....
Effect #4.
I was like, Omg we look like Avatars! Lolol.
Saw this car on the street of Bukit Bintang, in front of Fahrenheit and it actually has an owner!
......and I drive a Myvi.
Floral dress that I bought from a website ages ago and only wore it last night to Fish's birthday dinner.
And Jocelyn was so kind enough to lend me her Mango bag ehehe.
I was forced to use my webcam to take the pictures because Jo took my camera along with her to Melbourne. Ohhh maybe that's the reason why she treated me so nice last night!
Went to V1 last night but pictures are all with Pam so yeah.
With the birthday girl.
She asked us to call her Princess for the night.
I called her Princess Fish lololol..
Oh my god why Fish's face expressions didn't change at all. And I was already laughing and giggling.
I received a text from Ms. Villie before heading out and found out that we would be having Lit class on Saturday. So brutal! And the Lit class lasted for 5 hours today. I seriously thought I was going to die halfway through it because I've only had 8 hours of sleep in the past 3 nights.
But I survived through the day!
Jo asked me to try on the tight black skirt that we bought for her from H&M and I can actually fit into it! /tears of joy. Because the skirt is sooo tiny! Kinda like, XS size wtf.
But I think it is actually kinda short on me....bummer.
Okay, that's it! This is such a lazy post but I really couldn't be bothered at the moment.
I should go now and start on my Lit essay! And piano homework. No sleep tonight again, I guess. Hating on A-levels with a burning passion ^_^
Another stupid, random short video hahaha.
It was to release our stress before Econs test ehehe.
Till then!
/
Marilyn
